Now, it’s been well established that the very unfair Lyin’ President Hussein Obama used secret microwaves to bug Trump tower to try and find blackmail material that Crooked H. could use in her presidential race so she could keep the Comet Pizza Parlor open so Podesta could secretly run Pizzagate with Crooked’s full knowledge and support which is why she hid her emails on a private server so she could email the send of the consulate in Benghazi with Susan Rice and Crooked and Hussein Obama who let’s face it wasn’t even born here. Sad!
These are facts, let’s move on.
One of the most beautiful parts of the Trump presidency has been his unbelievable ability to unite Americans. Trump has refrained from prosecuting these vicious Liberals/criminals (they’re synonyms) in order to move on and allow America to heal from what historians now call ‘the dark period’.
But still, do nothing liberals who are frankly losers still complain about Donald Trump and what he’s doing at the president even though he’s doing it spectacularly well and frankly those lazy socialists need to get out of their parents’ basements and try and get a job even though know one will hire them because they are, again, garbage. Maybe they could work at a garbage store, modeling the products. Anyways, they have brought up an interesting issue worth discussing:
Is Donald Trump the greatest President to have ever lived?
Obviously, I see what you’re going to say, “of course there’s no better president than President Trump! Can’t stump that guy!”. Generally, this is what’s known as facts. But, unfortunately, know-nothing liberals with fine arts degrees who are capital-L LOSERS and very unfair when it comes to President Trump have came up with alternative facts FAKE NEWS and are forcing the debate.
Now, I’m going to try and come at this with the real facts in an unbiased way that allows us to have an adult discussion about the true realities of the Trump Presidency. Now, I know that liberalism is technically a mental illness. It’s in the doctor book that they use to diagnose mental illnesses. It’s in there, I read it. You shouldn’t read it though, you’re a busy man—you don’t have time. Just trust me it’s in there. I would never lie to you. Everyone else will, though, except for me and of course, President Trump. You can’t trust those other people. They’re out there, plotting. They want to come into your house and take what you hold dear. Your guns, your money, your wife, other possessions, whatever. They want to take it all and they’re telling you lies to get it. But I would never tell you lies. Don’t trust anything they say. You can only believe me. If you don’t trust me then you obviously trust them and they did 9/11 and pizzagate and are the reason you got fired from the factory. They want to change the market so you never get hired back. I think you deserve your job at the factory and I’m the only one who can get it back for you, that’s why you have to trust me and not trust them. So don’t read the doctor book, because if you read the book that means you don’t trust me, which means you don’t really want your job back at the factory after all. Disloyalty is a sin, questioning is disloyalty, and all thought is a question. Don’t think because they think, and they did 9/11 and the factory and the comet pizza pie. Trust me, you MUST trust me, and it’ll all be okay, because you’re great, and nobody sees that, but me.
Anyways, it’ll be difficult to reach out to liberals because they’re crazy idiots who are insane and have bad brains. But, darn it, I’m going to try.
Let’s take a quick look at President Trump’s legislative accomplishments:
- Russia: Lyin’ Obama was very weak on Russia but somehow also way too tough on them and treated them very rudely and was just generally a super jerk when it came to Russia. President Trump, with his cool amazing diplomatic skills, has normalized tensions with Russia by just sort of doing whatever they ask. Thankfully, unlike Know-nothing Obama, Trump has stood up to Russia when it counts , and protected American-White interests at home and abroad. All in all, I think we can agree that Trump has knocked this one out of the park! 10/10.
- Healthcare: Stinky Obama was very mean to the American people when he destroyed their otherwise amazing healthcare. Before B. Hussein O., America had the best healthcare in the world! Poor people would just sort of let the tumor kill them because they couldn’t afford the CT scan. Unfortunately, Not-Smart Obama ruined this immaculate system with some bullshit about fucking whatever (to be honest, I wasn’t really paying attention during that entire era in American history) and then President Trump parachuted in to save it. You may have seen something on Fox about the healthcare bill being pulled but, fortunately, this is fake news. The Trump Healthcare bill passed with a 100 votes in the House of Representatives. There was originally some worry that Trumpcare wouldn’t pass because the Representatives were too busy doing somersaults and shit because they were so happy that Trump was president but this, fortunately, did not come to pass. But, because it was the best healthcare bill ever, all the Representatives made a point of coming down to Capitol Hill to vote on the bill to make sure it passed. Yay! Another 10/10.
- White House Travel Ban: yeaaaaaaah, this one didn’t really work out. Not Trump’s fault! Your fault. You didn’t try hard enough. Another 10/10 for Trump.
- Home Alone 2: not a lot of people know this, but before and after Trump became President he is and was the most famous actor of all time. He’s basically been highly sought after to participate in every film project. However Trump, unlike Cheap Shoes Obama, has been highly discerning in his choice of film roles. Trump only picks the best movies of all time. It’s like a seal of quality. It’s very nice of President Trump to take time out of his day to go do a movie for a bit so you know that it’s a good movie. An example of this can be seen in his starring role in Home Alone 2. Up until Trump appears in the movie, the viewer is unsure whether to like it. It contains a lot of potentially objectionable imagery (international travel, red-haired women, planes flying across borders, women in pants) that may shock the conscience and ethics of your average viewer. Thankfully, Trump appears in the film to restore order and make sure that all the white heterosexuals abandon their dreams of flying international. Great job Trump! 10/10.
- Very Good Twitter: now, Outdated Rolex Obama was very bad with twitter, throwing temper tantrums and spreading lies. President Trump has been very level-headed and concise, only tweeting when the American-white People need to know about an important event. Trump does this selflessly and in effort to combat Fake News: he knows that biased know-nothing very unfair fake news organizations like Fox or CNN don’t give you the facts and only tell you what the Zionists want you to hear. So, he tweets, and he does it with the grace and dignity demanded by the office of the president. Cuts-His-Own-Gras Obama could learn something from this. 10/10.
So, as you can see, the evidence supporting the conclusion that President Trump is the best President and man to have ever lived is 1000% irrefutable. This is a mathematical and scientific proof, like gravity or calculus or intelligent design.
I resent the fact we even had to have this discussion.