Even More Reader Mail!

Volume 1 and 2 of Reader Mail can be found here and here.

Dear freefootballscholarships,
did you see the movie Dirty Grandpa? lol it was hilarious!! generally when yu see an old person you expect them to be all #boring but this grandpa was more like a bro, ya know? anyway 5/5 great movie

Dear Dan,
I’m glad to hear you liked Dirty Grandpa. Thanks for the review.

Dear freefootballscholarships,
ur kid needs braces. his teeth b jagged. u a stupid fukcing deadbeat ass. wen baby cry i tell him daddy dead cause u worse dan that. send money!!
one luv, Karen

Dear Karen,
I don’t know who you are or how you got this number. If you keep up with these scandalous and nonsensical allegations you will be hearing from my attorney. Libel is a serious offense. Please do not take this warning lightly.

Dear freefootballscholarships,
I find it extremely troubling that you can write articles praising hard-working patriots like Ted Cruz or Rick Perry one day and then turn around and praise that BITCH Hillary then next. Where is your integrity? Your morals? We are at WAR here. A war against change. America is a Christian country with Christian morals and values and by advocating for WOMEN you threaten to undermine the very fabric that OUR WORLD is based upon. This isn’t just about freedom this is about AMERICA. Hillary wants to TAKE OUR GUNS while Ted Cruz wants us to MAKE AMERICA GREAT. That seems like a pretty easy choice, doesn’t it? I demand that freefootballscholarships issue a full apology, pledge allegiance to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, apologize to TED CRUZ, and rip up a picture of that SOCIALIST b. HUSSEIN NO-bama! TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK!!
Cordially, Craig

Dear Craig,
No one was more committed to the Ted Cruz campaign then us here at freefootballscholarships. When Ted lost the race embarrassingly to a velvet puppet and disappeared gently into that good night all the light went out of our world. Also, we will never stop wishing for Rick Perry to become president. But we live in changing and volatile political times. Without Cruz and Perry, we’re left with an establishment loser like Donald Trump. Hilary Clinton is a straight-shooting political outsider who plays by her own rules. While we way not agree with all of her polices (equal pay, LGBTQ rights, reasonable checks on police brutality), we appreciate her outsider status. Don’t view it as a vote for Hillary, view it as a vote to shake-up the corrupt Washington cartel!

Dear freefootballscholarships,
What is the official freefootballscholarships policy on nerds?
Sincerely, Droop

Dear Droop,
freefootballscholarships has been consistent on this policy since day one. We fucking hate nerds. If you’re a nerd we probably hate you. The only good thing about nerds is that we can beat them up.

One thought on “Even More Reader Mail!

  1. Freefootballscholarships, don’t you realize that Karen is the mother of your baby? I represent her as part of the firm Josh Charles LLP. We are taking you for all u got, brutha.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s