This Blog Post is Not For Critics

Now, I know there’s been a lot of discussion this year on whether ffs has gone downhill. People are sharply divided on both sides of the aisle: some say that the quality is nowhere near where it once was while others are saying that it hasn’t declined that much. I recall a particularly scathing Time magazine article on us, saying that: “Once one of the top ten cooking and lifestyle blogs on the internet, freefootballscholarships has declined to the point it is nearly unrecognizable. It’s the blog equivalent of walking around with a hole in your sock. Stupid.”. But that wasn’t as bad as what was recently written in The New York Times, where the front-page article read: “Freefootballscholarships: overpaid, overrated.” Even President Barrack Obama had some choice words, calling ffs “a bag of shit.”

All this criticism has proved to be exceptionally daunting. I’ve found myself shelving money-making posts (hard-hitting, journalistic pieces like ‘10 Cats that Just Want Scratches!’) in favour of crowd-pleasing, clickbait swill (articles like ‘A Brokered Analysis of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Part 1: The West Bank’). In doing so, I feel as if I may have alienated the core audience of this blog (Japanese men, aged 54-65) in favour of attempts at mainstream appeal. I now recognize my mistake.

You see, there’s an ancient Japanese proverb (which all of my readers, being Japanese would know): the man that chases two rabbits will lose one or both of the rabbits if the man that is chasing both of the rabbits insists on chasing both of the rabbits and does not delegate his chase to just one of the rabbits rather than attempting to chase both of the rabbits. As such, I feel as if I’ve been like that Japanese man, chasing the two rabbits of critical adoration and internet fame.

Therefore, I will now only chase the rabbit of internet fame.

This means that: this blog is no longer for critics. You can’t criticize this blog anymore, because it’s not for you. Much like Kevin Smith’s movie Jersey Girl, which he said ‘wasn’t made for critics’, this blog is now entirely immune from criticism: because if you criticize that makes you a critic and if you’re a critic then this isn’t for you.

To begin this new era, I’d like to share a poem I wrote with you all. It’s about the duality of man in the post-Foucauldian era of meta-textual post-constructionism. It’s very profound. Here it is:

  The sky is darker now

            The clown pulls

            At his greaves, the clown pulls

            The crow cries

            Uncover the corn field

Bet you want to criticize that, don’t you? Too bad, you can’t. It’s not for you.

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